PARTLY FACETIOUS: Tigers monitoring food inflation!

"I don't understand would The Khan's tigers be granted magisterial powers to check food inflation?"

"I am not sure The Khan has thought it through but he is an honest man!"

"Agreed, he sure is, but I don't think the Tigers can be given magisterial powers because then there would be a parallel system which, over time, would be in conflict with...."

"Perhaps but The Khan is an honest man!"

"No question about his honesty anyway perhaps these tigers will be engaged in informing on those who are making profits over and above...over and above....hey isn't a private shop keeper allowed to sell any commodity at whatever price he wants to sell it at. I mean the consumers can buy from another....the government can only control rates in Utility Stores and that too through subsidies..."

"Subsidies are given from our tax rupees but it's the dratted manufacturers' mafia and the smugglers mafia - people anathema to The Khan....who as you know is an honest man."

"No question about it but the mafia needs to be dealt with by law and order personnel while cartels are dealt with by the Competition Commission of Pakistan and with the new team in place there perhaps..."

"You reckon if the tigers are inducted as members of the CCP the situation may change, for The Khan is an honest man and all his tigers are honest individuals and willing to work without any money, without any power, without any..."

"I thought the tigers were Usman Dar's brainchild."

"The man who lost from Khawaja Asif twice right - once when he challenged the 2013 election results and then again in 2018...but as I tell you The Khan is an honest man."

"Indeed but the tigers contributed to checking corona in the country...."

"What about the NCOC and..."

"Them too and God willing they will stop the price rise and perhaps work as vigilantes and shame the shop keepers who refuse to sell at the rate designated by the government."

"The rate must take account of the significant rise in utility tariffs with taxes a rising component and..."

"Yes, yes I know The Khan is an honest man but so was Brutus."

"Brutus was an honourable man, my friend, there is a difference."

"Don't be facetious."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020