PARTLY FACETIOUS: PM should follow Western democratic model

“The Khan keeps saying that he has spent a long time in the West and therefore…”

“Yes, yes – he went to University there, then played county cricket, then got married to an English woman, had children who live in London and…”

“You sound like our local Charlie Chaplin and I mean Ayaz Sadiq. Leave alone what he said on the floor of the house the guy later threatened he would divulge secrets, state secrets – I mean really! If Nawaz Sharif as a three-time prime minister or Zardari sahib as the First Spouse for a number of years and then as the President of the country threaten that they would divulge state secrets I may believe that they have secrets to divulge. Being a sadiq may make him eligible to be a member of parliament as per our constitution…”

“Don’t be facetious – having sadiq, truthful, as a last name and actually being sadiq are two different things but seriously I don’t think the public listens too closely to these threats, even from those who were in the know at one time because these threats come out only when they are in opposition; besides why does the PML-N media team then scramble to defend such inane comments, I mean I am baffled.”

“Defend the indefensible is a standard term of reference for the media teams in all our parties, even our institutions have a media team and that brings me back to what I actually wanted to say when I said The Khan should follow the Western democratic model as he lived there and…”

“Let me guess you want The Khan to stop interfering in the Cricket Board appointments and decisions given that the two years and three month performance of our team is even worse than during the tenure of the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless….”

“Ha ha yes The Khan used to have nothing but contempt for the prime minister as the patron in chief of cricket and hockey but I guess being a former player he reckons he is qualified.”

“Hmmm anyway that’s not it.”

“You want him to stop cutting ribbons, having the state television crew present when he gives out cheques from the taxpayers’ money under the Benazir Income Support Porgramme or ehsaas, an activity that he denigrated when Zardari sahib and Nawaz Sharif….”

“Nope what I want him and his team of merry men (six) to do is to stand at a podium when addressing the public instead of sitting down…”

“That’s kind of shallow.”

“A member of the six merry men always tries to take more space than his short height allows by spreading his legs…”

“You really don’t like him do you?! Anyway what I take exception to is his inane comment that this government is paying off loans acquired by previous administrations. I mean where in the world does a government not inherit debts of its predecessor?”

“Does he know that if the economy hadn’t been in such poor shape The Khan may not be our prime minister today?”

“What The Khan says is what he parrots.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2020