PARTLY FACETIOUS: Conspiracy theories

“I didn’t get only a glimpse of naya (new) Pakistan this weekend but the heaviest dose…”

“If you are being facetious because The Khan has been uncharacteristically quiet since the bye elections…”

“Good heavens no…and my suggestion to The Khan is not to turn the page – forward or backward and all may still be well.”

“Stop with your conspiracy theories…”

“OK, but one conspiracy theory has surfaced and it doesn’t involve The Khan… OK it does indirectly but not directly…”

“Give me a hint…does it have anything to do with our foreign policy?”

“Nope.”

“Economy?”

“Yep.”

“Are you referring to the recently concluded staff level agreement with the International Monetary Fund (IMF) that Hafeez Sheikh as one of two signatories on behalf of Pakistan claims is good for Pakistan?”

“You are getting warm in one way but at the same time cold.”

“Sounds like Sheikh’s attempts to check inflation…but any way are you perchance referring to Hafeez Sheikh’s body language as he goes abegging for votes from the ruling party and allies with Asad Umar for the Senate seat?”

“Ha ha ha – only in The Khan’s Pakistan a replacer is getting the services of a replacee…”

“There is no such word as a replace.

“There is now – in naya Pakistan…but Hafeez Sheikh’s body language is extremely confident – he takes as much space as he possibly can with legs wide apart while all others, including Asad Umer and the MQM-Pakistan members, take little space in comparison and I reckon Sheikh is not only on the same page but on the same paragraph and…”

“Hey even when he is sitting with the Prime Minister he displays the same body language!”

“Indeed, but that’s not the conspiracy theory I was referring to.”

“Were you referring to a technocrat actually canvassing for himself? A first I believe…”

“He is not stupid - he knows no one will vote for him because of his policies that are anti-general public so he is saying the senate seat is not between two men, it is between parties and now that the economy has turned around which incidentally no one believes any more…”

“Nope my friend, the conspiracy theory has nothing to do with what you mentioned – the conspiracy theory is that the IMF is not going to upload the details of the agreement that would show what Sheikh has agreed to till after the 3 March – the day of the Senate elections and…”

“Dear, dear, me.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021