PARTLY FACETIOUS: Who’s presenting an accurate narrative?

“So who do you reckon is right: Usman Dar who keeps losing elections for the party in spite of The Khan’s government in the Centre and Punjab while Rana Sahib keeps winning elections in spite of being out of government and…”

“Ha ha, that’s right.”

“My question is who is presenting an accurate narrative: Dar, no relationship to The Absconder, who together with The Khan offered elections in the polling stations where the relevant calculators of votes were…were……”

“Hijacked is the word being used by the PML-N and wait for the pronouncement by the Election Commission of Pakistan (ECP) as per The Khan loyalists…but you know when you use the phrase calculators of votes, it reminds me of the Pakistan Bureau of Statistics, the calculators of our economic indicators, who in recent months have engaged in some innovative calculations…”

“Hey don’t be silly. You and I both know that calculations in the Naya Pakistan may not be rationalized but the intent is extremely honest and in the national interest.”

“Don’t be facetious. Anyway going back to the bye-elections, I thought the ECP had already complained about senior members of the administration supposedly run by The Buzz not taking calls…”

“Dar says they should have called on the landline as they had switched off their mobile phones because they were sleeping so no action will be taken against them.”

“They switched off their mobile phones on the day of a bye-election?!”

“As is their inalienable right anyway so who is right you reckon? The Khan and Dar saying let there be re-polling in the 20 odd polling stations while the PML says let there be re-polling in the entire constituency.”

“The 20 odd polling stations where there were disappearances…and hey in this country disappearances are not unusual I mean three administrations, including the incumbent, and the courts have not been able to resolve the issue of disappearances and…”

“It’s those dratted Indians!”

“Nope, this time it was that dratted fog.”

“The fog is coming from India due to Modi’s industrialization policy and do not worry The Khan is planting trees to ensure no fog in future…all we have to do is wait for the trees to grow and…”

“Dear me, but a disappearance is defined as one if the disappeared is not procured for more than 24 hours you know.”

“Now who is being facetious anyway the PML-N reckons that if re-polling is in only those polling stations where there were disappearances they would lose because those areas are PTI strongholds and…”

“That’s rather cynical – you reckon both are not quite right.”

“Cynicism of the public is also a feature of Naya Pakistan.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021