PARTLY FACETIOUS: Leg before the wicket

“Javed Lateef’s statement…”

“Well, he purposely put his leg before the wicket.”

“And that surprised me - I mean the guy has been elected from Sheikhupura at least twice that I know of - he does not have a one man constituency, he is not a technocrat wanting to please the big boss or a well-loved member of the family of the big boss who can then hand pick him to become a senator or advisor or…”

“And yet he purposely put his leg before the wicket.”

“So why do you think he did it?”

“The guy has never ever been a federal minister and so perhaps he reckons that such a statement would be remembered by the big boss and…”

“You have to give Zardari sahib full marks though – he used similar words but with a huge difference…”

“Zardari sahib knows how to have his cake and eat it too, Javed Lateef has no cake and is desperately trying to become newsworthy so that the big boss hears of it and appreciates…”

“Cakes are not popular in Sheikhupura. And there is no carrot halwa, the carrot season is over so no carrot halwaa…”

“There are other halwas that are not seasonal - suji ka halwa, daal ka halwa…”

“OK, OK, but anyway he said what he said in support of the former First Daughter who reportedly received death threats and…”

“Ha, ha, ha.”

“It’s not funny if she has really received death threats…”

“Why are you assuming that it’s the government or the establishment? I mean it could be a stalker or a crazy person or even…”

“That’s true, cybercrime against women, for example against women journalists, are rampant and the ability to catch the perpetrators by our FIA cyber branch is appallingly poor, I would say less than 1 percent so Maryam Nawaz thought it advisable to get Javed Lateef…”

“Could be – anyway Maryam Nawaz needs to redefine some parameters – I mean she reckons where ever she sleeps takes on the status of chaadar aur chardiwari…”

“Funny thing about that Urdu phrase – it translates as the proper place for a woman is in the home and Maryam Nawaz was in a hotel room at the time…”

“Yep, it’s the same as her slogan vote ko izzat do (give respect to the vote) – now where I am sitting I would have preferred a slogan that sought to give respect to the voter…”

“Hmmm.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021