PARTLY FACETIOUS: Free meals

“So meals on wheels extended to two more cities…”

“A further step towards the implementation of Medina ki riyasat as per The Buzz and this must be appreciated however I have a question.”

“If you want to know why The Khan’s picture was prominently displayed on the banner at the launch - though I am not sure whether his picture would also be displayed on the vans that would distribute the meals, a practice much in use during the administrations of The Khan’s predecessors as well as chief ministers which if I remember correctly The Khan rightly denigrated and the courts barred…”

“I would have you know that The Khan tried to cut down on protocols and urged his fifty plus cabinet team members not to display his photograph on any programme he launches with public money or to put up plaques with his name while cutting ribbons all over the place during the early days of his administration but you know at least forty five plus out of the fifty plus of his team members have been trained by his predecessors and the others owe their job to him alone and this is a tried and tested way…”

“Don’t be facetious - anyway that was not the question I had in mind. I wanted to know whether…”

“Wait, let me guess: you wanted to know whether this would be targeted to a particular group – I mean do you need to show an identity card, or proof that you are eligible for the meals on wheels…”

“Right, I could send my office boy to go and get me the meals on wheels depending on the menu for the day of course.”

“This system would be on the honour system – it depends on your sense of honour and fair play not to get food from the vans if you can afford food.”

“You know I have a weakness for biryani and no one to cook it for me at home so whenever biryani is cooked for the poor at Bari Imam I send someone.…”

“Bad…one way to redeem your honour would be to donate money for the preparation of meals on wheels!”

“Right, but that wasn’t my question either. I wanted to know whether the langarkhanas and the safe houses and the meals on wheels should be consolidated as envisioned by The Khan, I mean we as taxpayers paid good money for the study on consolidating all subsidies and other government controlled charities to ensure that they are targeted to those who need them.”

“Oh you want to know what the government can do to ensure these pro-poor initiatives paid for by the tax payers are targeted to the poor and vulnerable?”

“Yes I mean if you employ bad cooks to discourage the rich then that won’t work in our country. I mean the cheap wheat on display in Utility Stores remained on the shelves as people - rich and poor - refused to buy it.…”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Jobs, jobs and more jobs, less people being pushed into poverty levels, growth, growth and more growth and…”

“Hmmm, that kind of solution requires thinking in another part of the brain.”

“What?”

“See the decision to give in charity is taken in one section of our brain while the capacity to formulate appropriate economic policies and then implement them resides in another section of our brain…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021