PARTLY FACETIOUS: Holidaying for the longest time ever

“Same o same o.”

“How can you possibly say that!? We holidayed for the longest time ever in this country’s Eid history…nine-day-long and The Khan withstood all pressure from the local capitalists by ignoring their plea to minimize holidays as it would undermine their ability to meet production targets for foreign and local markets……”

“I can’t understand you Zardis and Nawalas – it’s damned if The Khan does and damned if he doesn’t…why don’t you take into account that this was a lockdown rather than Eid holidays and…wait I know what you are going to say but no one dies of hunger in nine days – I have research that it takes more than a month of no food for it to become a health issue…”

“Hmm, OK, so The Khan made another first in history…and when I say another I mean we are way ahead of India – they are on the second wave only and we are on the third and…”

“Don’t be facetious, besides India’s economic indicators are a lot better than ours.”

“Reza Baqir said to Al Jazeera that the economy was on an upward trajectory and…yes I understand that this view is at odds with that of Shaukat Tareen but I ask you in a two wheeler if one tyre is punctured you sort that out and not change both tyres…”

“I reckon our economy is a three-wheeler – between The Khan periodically expressing his complete support for the economic team leaders…”

“Ha ha ha, but I reckon it’s a car with four wheels – and the fourth wheel is any federal minister or a Khanzadeh loudly proclaiming on television that the economy is on the road to…”

“Who is the spare wheel? In a car there is a spare wheel…”

“Maryam Nawaz.”

“She wouldn’t sit in the same car as The Khan even if he were to make her a federal minister and…”

“The air in a spare wheel needs to be constantly checked and rechecked especially when one embarks on a long journey and amongst all the politicians – leaders, their children, second tier leaders, third tier leaders – she is the only one needs to be watched constantly…”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway her speech outside Javed Lateef’s house showed she has come of age – as daddy’s daughter she refers to herself only in the third person, like daddy she has an inner coterie of four to five people though she may take some time to get the outer coterie of 300 to 400 or so elected…”

“That’s because she compares herself to women, i.e., Fatima Jinnah and not Jinnah – give her some time…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021