PARTLY FACETIOUS: Who’s now a cruise missile?

“To be an unguided missile can be dangerous to ones friends and allies.”

“You need to narrow it down for me to understand.”

“I thought I was being pretty clear – unguided implying that the launcher has no idea whether the missile will take a U-turn right back…”

“You really have to narrow it down – are you referring to a ballistic missile which follows a ballistic trajectory to deliver one or more warheads on a pre-determined target…”

“Hmmm, if you are talking about The Khan’s media team then they all try to over-perform by delivering more than five to ten warheads even though they have a limited delivery capacity…”

“Yeah, yeah, anyway then there are cruise missiles which are aerodynamically guided in a powered flight.”

“So what are you trying to say?”

“The Khan’s special assistants are ballistic missiles guided for relatively short periods and not cruise missiles that impact for a much longer period.”

“Are you saying that The Khan is a cruise missile?”

“No, no I wasn’t talking of The Khan. Maryam Nawaz now is a cruise missile…”

“Hmmm, you mean because of her statement power speaks to power instead of the actual phrase speaking truth to power which requires courage and the objective of getting the oppressed their due and…”

“She does tend to twist some wise sayings – I mean even the one give respect to the vote should really have been give respect to the voter but my advice to you: don’t use the same yardstick on her that you use for ordinary mortals.”

“OK so enlighten me.”

“She got rid of Chaudhary Nisar, she put Parveen Rashid under the bus but his stint in Middlesex county in the UK enabled him to remain loyal to her…”

“Granted, our libel laws are not implemented but don’t push your luck!”

“OK sorry, it’s the keyboard, she led the attack on the PML-N Baloch leadership, the AJK elections saw her party win almost half the seats that PPP got, she angered the PPP leadership with the show cause notice and then of course there are the powers that she reckons she is speaking to…”

“Ha, ha, so what do you reckon – an unguided ballistic missile or an unguided cruise missile?”

“That’s a tough one – let’s focus on the unguided.”

“My take on your statement: as long as daddy listens there is nothing anyone can do. And let’s be honest daddy is not a military man – he paid for cruise missiles but they invariably turned out to be ballistic missiles.”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021