PARTLY FACETIOUS: A scholarship fund

"Hear ye, hear ye, Pakistanis...please be generous - I am setting up a fund, a scholarship fund..."

"I am not rich but I would like to donate as much as I can because our literacy rates remain low, and while The Khan raised low rates as a major issue yet he is facing so many problems - on the domestic and international front - that by the time education outlay is prioritized...."

"You know you should wait till the proposal is complete - as I was saying, I am setting up a scholarship fund for our political leaders who have aspirations of becoming the chief executive of this country and if not that then at least get a ministry and..."

"The Khan has paid khairaj-i-tehseen, the highest form of accolade for work well done, to all his 50 plus cabinet members and that includes special assistants and advisors, so I reckon the fund is only for members of the opposition and frankly I do not support..."

"The Sheikha knows nothing about policing - the traffic in Islamabad has become horrendous because..."

"Minor issues, get that keyboard sorted immediately because while your friend from Middlesex County has never had any power, Nawaz Sharif didn't think twice before making him the fall guy, which he accepted gladly yet Sheikh Rashid is the Interior Minister. And is a BA - the Best Abuser of the opposition leaders that The Khan has, even better than his counterpart in Punjab and..."

"Hmmm, but anyway when I said I was setting up a scholarship fund I had the former first daughter in mind. I mean her comments on Afghanistan were...were...how shall I put it? A reflection of her education..."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"I see you are still hedging your bets right! Like Marriyum Aurangzeb and......"

"Well ...... without Maryam is not going anywhere but I had thought Marriyum Aurangzeb had a career in the party..."

"Hey as our Finance Minister Shaukat Tarin says we hesitate to hedge and would rather lose millions of dollars from the treasury than be investigated for losing money in the event that the price goes the other way than we had projected and..."

"I am not sure he said that, anyway the point is hedging on public money is a no-no hedging on personal money is not..."

"None of our rich engage in pure hedging either - we have hedging mixed with some bribes, mixed with some laundering mixed with some TTs, mixed with..."

"Ha haha."

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