PARTLY FACETIOUS: PM’s kitchen cabinet: all slim

“So is Mr Rotund packing up?”

“Mr Rotund?”

“Shahzad Akbar, he failed in the Get Shehbaz Sharif campaign and now even Pandora papers have not named any immediate member of the SS family and I mean sons and sons-in-law and daughters…”

“Mr Rotund had placed reliance on the British Serious Fraud Office for which he drew a hefty amount at the taxpayers’ expense - a salary plus protocol plus trips to the UK and…and now the Pandora papers haven’t been cooperative…I mean these incompetent Western…”

“Indeed, and in contrast National Accountability Bureau, which incidentally is not under his administrative control, has gone after SS’s first wife Nusrat and that just shows that our investigative agencies are better than the SFO and Pandora…”

“Don’t be facetious, I reckon The Khan should follow his gut – he never ever surrounded himself with weight watchers, I mean look at his kitchen cabinet – all slim, all slender though I am unaware whether they exercise or not…”

“For your information Mr Rotund is also not watching his weight.”

“Hmmm, that he is clearly not, anyway so SS and Sons still no offshore accounts, I mean what is all this about!”

“I am not going to answer that, oh just one plea…”

“Plea? What you have an offshore account as well? I would urge The Prime Minister to ignore your plea - anyone stupid enough not to take advantage of the amnesty schemes, on average two per administration, and the Khan administration is no exception…”

“The Khan has set up a committee and as the proverb states quite aptly a camel is a horse designed by a committee….but anyway if this committee dares to design a camel as a donkey then I have it on good authority that around 14 to 15 South Punjab members of parliament will leave the government and Punjab will almost certainly fall and as we know if The Buzz falls The Khan will fall…”

“Not a single name in either the 14 or 15 in South Punjab or in the Chaudhary clan that has an aen (24th letter of the Urdu alphabet)…”

“You reckon divine intervention – I mean first Pandora papers then this dratted Shehbaz Sharif not being named and then…”

“Prayers are being offered in all PTI strongholds…”

“Amen.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2021