PARTLY FACETIOUS: There’s no comparative data

“So is it or isn’t it going to happen?”

“What? Wait, let me guess…yes, The Khan will take the people of this country into confidence yet again.”

“Any ideas on the subject matter this time around? Surely not again on why inflation in the Land of the Pure is double that in other countries?”

“Fake news, fake news, all I want to say is it was nice knowing you and see you in five years… the length of the stay at state expense…”

“Right and for those of your relatives who reckon that you may be moving into a panahgah let me inform them that Chauhan sahib of the Prison Ministry is not accepting requests for visits to those under his jurisdiction for fake news dissemination and…”

“But what did I say that merits such a long sentence?”

“You said The Khan will address the public and explain why inflation is double that in other countries and I will have you know that The Khan has never ever said that inflation in our country is double that in other countries – all The Khan has said is that inflation in Pakistan is for the same reasons as inflation in other countries…”

“So, no comparative data?”

“No, except in citing the rate of certain items in India and Pakistan where we come out better…”

“Right and need I add, we need to extend a vote of thanks to the State Bank because our rupee is so valueless now…”

“Don’t be facetious, the comparison is with the new and improved Pakistan rupee rate…”

“Hmmm, but I am amazed at the inane question you put to me, I mean have The Khan’s speeches to the public or at jalsas ever varied too much in content – I mean there is always mention of the big bad wolves so corrupt that the…”

“But that is one narrative of his that has been effectively sold to the public, I am not sure whether it is enough to win him votes or indeed enough to ensure that the big bad wolves (BBWs) do not win the next elections but…”

“True and need I add, we need to extend a vote of thanks to The Khan for making the BBWs relevant again…”

“So if the opposition constitute the BBWs then who is Little Red Riding Hood?”

“Who or where?”

“Both.”

“Who is the judiciary and where is the supreme court?”

“Careful sort aren’t you!”

“I like my life.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022