PARTLY FACETIOUS: Govt should designate a place for protest

“Is the Long March or dharna or whatever still on?”

“You mean the gathering of a large number of people on the call of one man or party or religious group or…”

“Yes, but the definition of large varies; however, in my book…”

“Which book is this? The one the elite read or the one we the common people are allowed to read?”

“Hey don’t get philosophical on me, all I am saying is that large to me means blocking entry points into the capital and that is possible with less than a 1000 people and…”

“You ignored my query on the book…is it because you reckon we are not a nation of readers and so two or more being on the same page doesn’t matter as they are not really reading just looking at the page.”

“Good heavens; all I want to say is that the government should designate a place for protest and…”

“Like the Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park, London! But you know that worked as long as protests were small. Did you see the numbers protesting against Covid 19 lockdown, or earlier the labour union protests which during the Thatcher era were dealt with by law enforcement agencies ruthlessly?”

“Hmmm, we need to apply the Thatcher model.”

“Agreed — anyway our speakers’ corner is D-Chowk and that is where the cookie crumbles because it overlooks the parliament, all federal government offices, Supreme Court, FBR…”

“Right, so a no-no when you are in government and a yes-yes when you are not.”

“Hmmm, but I was going to suggest something else to deal with anger/discontent…wait let me finish…how about a cricket match?”

“The Khan will win…”

“As a bowler he will make short shrift of the other team but then as a batter he could get in a couple of sixes perhaps and then catch out.”

“Hmm, the rest of his team members will collapse…”

“What about Wasim Akram Plus?”

“He is suffering from a serious injury…”

“Hmm, but on the other team Nawaz Sharif is already clean bowled and his daughter was caught behind wicket though the two have challenged the umpire’s decision and are willing to wait for a couple of years for the final verdict.”

“Shehbaz Sharif, the eleventh man is still batting…”

“Zardari sahib?”

“He is the twelfth man who could easily become the opening batsman if push comes to shove.”

“Welcome to Pakistani politics.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022