PARTLY FACETIOUS: Was it diarrhoea or constipation?

“I suffered a serious issue with my tummy yesterday?”

“Well go to the doctor? What was it? Diarrhoea or its reverse, constipation? Why are you laughing?”

“My tummy issues were unrelated to a doctor. The day of the jackal, the day the Election Commission of Pakistan announced its verdict on the foreign funding case and my Kaptaan did not address any gathering, did not utter a single word, and to your question whether it was diarrhea or constipation we need to establish a high level committee to be headed by a man or woman of integrity…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

“See I am not sure which side generates my diarrhoea — on the day of the jackal, and I remind you that jackals accompanied by two rearing cobras symbolized divine power in ancient Egypt…”

“Well The Khan is more spiritual than the Sharifs and he didn’t come on the media because he doesn’t like to lie, I mean he did admit a little money laundering on television…”

“So that means you associate constipation with the Sharifs? I mean they also let loose a lot of harsh words and the one who takes the cake is Maryam Nawaz whose vitriol almost compares to The Khan…”

“Indeed, but where The Khan’s vitriol finds its mark every time her’s somehow doesn’t or else at least one of the campaigns she led would have succeeded — she lost AJK when The Khan was in power and at the height of his unpopularity, she lost the Punjab bye elections…”

“That was the fault of others…anyway The Khan will have to address his followers — I mean I am pretty sure his diehard supporters are not going to change sides, but he needs the swing voters…”

“On a badness scale of one to ten if Nawaz Sharif is close to 9 then The Khan is definitely better, foreign funding or no foreign funding.”

“But the funny thing is that the PML-N wants him out of politics for ever, and they, above all other parties, must be aware that twice bitten once shy…”

“It’s once bitten twice shy.”

“Twice bitten – Nawaz Sharif and daughter are both convicted and disqualified and the shy one these days is Hamza…”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway the final fate of The Khan will depend on the intent of those where the verdict would be challenged? The ECP? The federal government? And last but not least the courts?”

“And in the Land of the Pure, Pakistan, the road of good intentions is paved with double the cement and double the concrete used elsewhere…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022