PARTLY FACETIOUS: ‘I did enjoy Khan’s jalsa’

“How went your independence day celebrations?”

“Good, very good, I celebrated by having lunch at the restaurant of a five-star hotel…”

“Talk of elite capture.”

“Hey I am a wannabe elite.”

“Wanna be or fake elite?”

“Fake means ain’t ever gonna achieve it and wannabe means I am trying hard to get that status.”

“You mean like those politicians on the outside wannabe on the inside and those on the inside wannabe more on the inside.”

“Don’t you be facetious — a wannabe elite was the construction sector during The Khan tenure, I mean the incentives given to them were simply mind blowing…”

“And Hanif Abbasi of the ephedrine compound fame is the wannabe federal minister of this administration and the Man Without a Portfolio wannabe for a portfolio and…”

“OK, OK, I have been checkmated anyway guess who I saw when I went for lunch at the five-star hotel?”

“I would assume not a wannabe elite but a real one!”

“Yes President Alvi was there with I presume his family…”

“Ha ha, so no invites for the President by the Prime Minister this year hunh! Just a bunch of tweets and…”

“Indeed, but speaking of the night before what devastated me was a photograph of the Khan en route to the jalsa in the hockey stadium Lahore with his mobile showing the jam packed stadium and…”

“Hey learn to enjoy and respect and…”

“I did enjoy the jalsa, I enjoyed the songs and the hype and the…”

“Surely you are not going to begrudge The Khan the cost of the astro-turf that was uprooted for the jalsa though personally I don’t see the sense of uprooting it – I mean if it was destroyed it could be replaced and if it wasn’t it could have been reused…”

“Nope, that’s not what devastated me. The photograph showed The Khan’s head from the back and right side of his head and you know the hair has thinned considerably though thank the good Lord the hair was all black and…”

“Hmmm, now if he follows Nawaz Sharif he will get some hair transplanted, if he follows the Zardis he will focus on the colour and not on the quantity….”

“And if he follows Zardari sahib he will allow nature do its work.”

“Ha haha, if wishes were horses…”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022