PARTLY FACETIOUS: Rishi Sunak’s Gujranwala link

“Rishi Sunak eat your heart out!”

“Hey back off, as an adherent of the Hindu religion and with a constituency that routinely condemns religious intolerance he may be the man to take on the Modi government for human rights violations…”

“I heard his family is from Gujranwala and migrated to East Africa before arriving in England and before you think that his family migrated due to partition then let me inform you that they left Gujranwala a good decade before 1947……”

“Hmmm, but Gujranwala? Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Gujranwala raises pehlwans (wrestlers) and Sunak cannot qualify for even the lowest weight category…”

“Don’t be facetious, his weight category is in IQ not…”

“Hey Gujranwalos as The Khan would say get the son of your soil to reengage with his roots, bring out the inner pehlwan in Sunak!”

“Well, Modi reckons he is first and last a Hindu…”

“Modi would reckon anyone who can assist him or his country in any way he is first and last a Hindu but I reckon he is first and foremost from Gujranwala, then a Hindu…”

“And what are using in support of your claim?”

“It’s not as if we Pakistanis are into evidence that much, I mean we accuse and then re-accuse and go on accusing without proof…”

“Right so no evidence.”

“Well Sunak is more a man from Gujranwala than from anywhere else because he has one of the largest cabinets in the world, 31 strong…”

“The Khan had fifty plus, Shehbaz Sharif has beaten him hands down with at least 20 more, then…”

“The Khan sold water buffaloes to pay for the extras what has Shehbaz Sharif sold I ask you!”

“Anyway Macron of France has 19 cabinet ministers, the German Chancellor has 17, Trudeau of Canada is giving us a run for our money – he has 39…”

“Compare apples with apples, Blair had 26, May had 27, Brown had 39…”

“I don’t see no apples - all I can see are bananas.”

“Let those who are no longer with us rest in peace.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022