PARTLY FACETIOUS: A case of assets beyond means?

“So now what?”

“So now shut up about Dar sahib’s case of assets beyond means.”

“I thought he said it’s a case of his not filing his tax returns which frankly I think is not right because if a chartered accountant doesn’t file his tax returns then the world is topsy-turvy.”

“Have you seen Ben Affleck’s movie The Accountant?”

“Yes he launders money for a mafia family…ooops!”

“Really an ooops moment. Anyway Dar sahib’s case was a request to provide evidence for a 98-fold increase in his assets in less than five years which, as you and I know, even a mafia chartered accountant does not earn.”

“I have one query?”

“To provide the bank transfer of millions of dollars to his account…”

“Nope, I want to know why he slunk out of the country in 2017 after he was indicted for assets beyond means during the tenure of PML-N with Shahid Khaqan Abbasi acting as per directives of Nawaz Sharif while he returns when Shehbaz Sharif is the Prime Minister who, let’s be honest, did privately challenge Dar’s handling or shall we say mishandling of the economy back in 2013 to 2017?”

“Look at the commonalities not the differences. Dar left on the Prime Minister’s plane and returned on the Prime Minister’s plane.”

“In the former case he was not accompanied by the then prime minister while recently he was.”

“Commonalities I said, Dar got his detailed 42-page affidavit on how he laundered money for Nawaz Sharif thrown out of court because the then Shehbaz Sharif-led Punjab government never pursued the case. Now he has gone to the Accountability Court and got a lifetime exemption, I mean I am not a lawyer but…”

“Silly, that’s not a difference, that’s a commonality: Shehbaz Sharif both times. The family that machinates together survives together.”

“The actual proverb is the family that prays together stays together.”

“There you go, Dar sahib and Nawaz Sharif are known for their frequent pilgrimages to Mecca and Medina.”

“But they don’t have anyone who gives them a daily dose of spiritual guidance.”

“That only The Khan had the foresight to ensure anyway that reminds me it is such relief from the courts to PML-N stalwarts that is largely responsible for The Khan’s narrative finding traction amongst the urban educated youth.”

“That’s right. Bhutto’s roti, kapra aur makaan found traction with the poor and he was swept to power, and The Khan’s thief, thief narrative has found traction…”

“I know why The Khan failed to catch the thieves.”

“Because he had no power…”

“No because it takes a thief to catch a thief.”

“Shahzad Akbar failed as did Javed Iqbal of the National Accountability Bureau and…”

“Another proverb of my own making is perhaps more apt: bribery by one thief to another makes an innocent man.”

“Make it gender neutral and I agree.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2022