PARTLY FACETIOUS: What does ‘plundit’ mean?
“So 23 December it is.” “Indeed and the plundits have been in a tailspin since.”
“Tailspin?”
“In a state of hysteria and you know what? Each analysis of the date is backed by a rationale that applies to the analyst and not The Khan.”
“You are being particularly obtuse today.”
“I mean one plundit…”
“Not plundit, pundit.”
“Plundit is unique mixture of a political pundit plundering logic…wait let me give you an example. I heard one plundit say that by giving the date of 23 December The Khan was actually giving The Stakeholder, read the new neutral, time to come back to the table on The Khan’s terms and…”
“Ah I see…or it could be to give some more time to The Dentist to…to give Mian sahib a root canal…”
“Nah, The Khan is not going to settle for anything but Nawaz Sharif’s tooth extraction.”
“Don’t be facetious, anyway you don’t agree that the date is for a logical reason?”
“I think the spiritual powers spoke again.”
“Oh hasn’t the spirit weakened considerably after the audio leaks.”
“Great men can compartmentalize my friend – the spiritual and temporal services are distinct.”
“Dear me are there any ain’s in the picture (24th letter in the Urdu alphabet).”
“I am not sure – is asim with an ain?”
“I heard it used to be but then it was changed to alif, the very first letter of the alphabet.”
“Man proposes, God disposes - 23 is also a Friday, an auspicious day.”
“Indeed but a Friday comes along after every six days…”
“Viola six days you said? We believe God created the universe, the heavens in six days…”
“There you go.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2022
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