Another woman was shot dead in the city by a young man who felt dejected after failing to win her hand for marriage. This was not a solitary incident. The number of killings of women by men who feel insulted after their proposals are rejected has alarmingly increased in the country.
The most famous one of course was the grisly murder of the 27-year-old daughter of a former Pakistani diplomat, by the scion of a wealthy business family. Here too the murderer felt dejected after the rejection of his marriage proposal.
The alarming thing is that such violent behaviour is not limited to any particular section of society or is necessarily carried out by mentally deranged persons.
Sometimes women suffer a fate worse than murder when instead of bullets they are drenched in acid to be disfigured for life and even lose their eyesight.
Is there really such a dearth of women in the country that the loss of one proposal drives their male counterparts to such violence. I don’t think so.
According to available figures in 2021, there were 106.01 males per 100 females. There were 115.88 million males and 109.32 million females in Pakistan. The percentage of female population is 48.54% close to the 51.46% male population of the country.
If however the enraged male suitors who find rejection unacceptable and do not want to waster any more time in their search for a life partner there are other countries where they will find much greener pastures and extremely high chances of non-rejection of their advances to suitable ladies.
According to the figures by United Nations, females outnumber males in 125 countries and regions in the world. The Russian Federation has 10.6 million more females than males, followed by Brazil which has 3.79 million more females, United States of America 3.46 million more, and Ukraine 3.18 million more. Not sure if these statistics from 2021 still hold true for Ukraine today.
Why is Pakistan lagging behind. The answer is very simple and obvious. Due to social, cultural, and economic conditions, Pakistanis generally prefer male offsprings. Even though most Pakistani couples and specially the educated upper classes will tell you that they have no preference it is a different scene altogether when there is birth of a male child.
First reaction is that of the nurse in attendance who will come out grinning from ear to ear and announce to the waiting family “Mubarakhu you have a boy”. The response of the family is also wholehearted and full of exuberance.
In case of a girl, however, the nurse is quite subdued and the general atmosphere too is not bubbling with excitement. If nobody else the girl’s mother-in-law will make such a face and look at the poor girl as if she has committed high treason. This is of course if the doctor has not already told the parents of the gender of the child and the couple shared it with their families.
A scientific advancement that has taken away the suspense of child birth gender guessing.
Large families are quite common in Pakistan. Some for religious reasons and for most it is a hereditary tradition. In the early days of Pakistan an average family would have at least 5 children. In many cases there were even more. I had friends whose brothers and sisters were in double figures. It was not that hard even for middle class families to support such large numbers.
As long as the head of the family could put enough food on the table it was enough. School fees would be the other major expenditure. No shopping malls or monthly payments of mobile and internet, no eating out and not much entertaining at home.
Remember there were no visitations during lunch and dinner. Visiting time would be in late afternoon and host would just present tea and Namak Paray or Samosay and maybe Jalebi if you were a special guest.
It is also a fact that Muslims overall have a higher fertility rate. This high fertility rate of 3.1 children per woman is a major driver of projected Muslim population growth around the world and in particular regions.
The number of Muslims around the world is projected to increase rapidly in the decades ahead, growing from about 1.6 billion in 2010 to nearly 2.8 billion in 2050.Muslims are expected to grow twice as fast as the overall global population. Consequently, Muslims are projected to rise from 23% of the world’s population in 2010 to 30% in 2050.41.
Well to the dejected and rejected suitors of Pakistan all these facts and figures should be very encouraging. Not to worry if the girl next door has other preferences. As the Urdu poet said, ‘There are other constellations beyond this one and more challenges of love to face elsewhere.’
Copyright Business Recorder, 2023
The writer is a well-known columnist
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