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“So compare a tin of pineapples with a five karat ring?” “I heard The Khan’s twelfth person in the team say that.” “Isn’t the correct term twelfth man?”

“Let me correct you - Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN) is not, I repeat, not The Khan’s twelfth man or person or whatever, she is actually his opening batsman or person and second I would like to remind NMN that she and siblings are the undisputed inheritors of all physical assets of Nawaz Sharif and his late wife and any gifts…”

“If NMN would only think before speaking she wouldn’t be The Khan’s opening batsman.”

“Indeed anyway she would have us believe that the Lion is sitting in London since 19 November 2019 while the jackal is sitting right here and even The Khan’s most ardent detractors are not expecting The Khan to leave the country…”

“There are two openers right, so who is the second?”

“Pervez Elahi.”

“I thought he would be the twelfth man I mean he is now expendable – no links to stakeholders, no links to his cousin…”

“He will be expendable only if he cannot bring in enough players for The Khan.”

“Right, so who is the other opening batsman?”

“To balance NMN and to ensure gender equality perhaps the multi-coloured hair Doctor who always gives better than she gets.”

“Hmmm, but she is highly qualified and to pitch her against NMN whose academic qualifications are dicey at best…”

“Have you heard the term an educated illiterate? In Pakistan there are so many highly educated people kowtowing to the low IQ illiterates – the three wise men who are holding seminars…”

“Speaking of Shahid Khaqan Abbasi he reckons he did nothing illegal in taking home the gifts given to him during his foreign tours as the country’s prime minister and came up with an inane remark that sale of these gifts have to be at the same price as allowed to the one who receives the gift or 20 percent of the value…”

“I want say to all former prime ministers look at fascist Modi who auctions the gifts and gives the proceeds to his favourite charity.”

“Look at the glass as half full: the significant asset gains by our former prime ministers and members of the cabinet, senior civilian and military personnel and the superior judiciary, is from the taxpayers of the gift giving country. And wait let me finish these assets are over and above their meagre salaries and perks and privileges that are at the Pakistani taxpayers’ expense under existing laws so my point is the gifts can be a deterrent to corruption, abuse of power, conflict of interest…”

“Ha!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023

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