PARTLY FACETIOUS: IMF doesn’t buy into govt data

“So the International Monetary Fund (IMF) rejected government data as well as the proposal?”

“Right, so there are two ways, no wait three ways to resolve matters with the Fund.”

“I know one way. As our recent history shows Shehbaz Sharif is the one who made the deal with the Fund so get him on board?”

“If I remember correctly all but The Samdhi – and I mean all, namely Miftah Ismail, Shaukat Tarin and Hafeez Sheikh succeeded in reaching a staff level agreement so I guess anyone but The Samdhi be the front man.”

“Hmmm, so I guess verbally abusing the Fund is out?”

“Verbally?”

“The Samdhi is not physically able to take, how can I put it, physical or mental pressure…”

“But can dish it out right?”

“Yes he can dish it out but only when his better half is in power.”

“The term better half is usually reserved for spouses but I guess his is an exceptional case. Anyway what’s way number two?”

“Way number two is to do the math right. Now I am not sure who messed up the figures but the proposal by our expert cabinet members, or so has been claimed by the caretaker prime minister, should not have understated the cost to the budget given that the Fund has its own set of data analyzers and…”

“That’s not fair, they all do it…”

“Right but now no one is getting away with it.”

“OK and way number three?”

“What I simply cannot understand is how come the caretaker finance minister, who has spent a lifetime as an international bureaucrat, employed in a multilateral financial institution that lent money to member countries, not know that any offer to the Fund which is not backed by a commensurate rise in revenue will be lobbed right back?”

“Maybe she doesn’t like the Energy Minister who…”

“Hey don’t sow seeds of discord within the cabinet…”

“Why not?’

“Because this is the smallest cabinet we have had in decades, and as the cabinet is financially supported by the taxpayers, any discord may lead to the stakeholders placing two instead of one…”

“Did you not know that there are two players in the finance ministry…”

“Ah but the one with experience as an international bureaucrat must learn from the domestic bureaucrat: seek a position that allows you to pass on the buck…”

“Don’t be facetious.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023