“Don’t look so smug, the battle royale has not yet been engaged.” “I am just smiling because this is the first day of spring in the capital.”
“I heard Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN) has taken two tables of ativan and is currently resting.”
“I heard she took fentanyl, you know the drug that Americans use and Biden reckons is coming from China and…”
“Well, Ativan deals with anxiety, while fentanyl is an opioid used as a pain depressant.”
“So, what do you reckon is the most appropriate drug for her to take today? Is anxiety more than pain, or are they both in equal measure?”
“Don’t be facetious – from the declared political heir of daddy, and don’t forget daddy moved to the politics of the centre decades ago leaving the Punjab to brother Shehbaz, but as a first step up the ladder she was reportedly the Sharif family’s candidate for chief minister of Punjab to…”
“Don’t you be facetious - I reckon pain is more than anxiety at this point, so fentanyl it is.”
“What about the denounced and The Man Who Remained Nameless throughout?”
“Notwithstanding, he was invariably the lead story the next day.”
“True.”
“You don’t bad mouth the underdog in the run-up to elections. If you recall when The Man Who Must Remain Nameless was bad-mouthing daddy and daughter, and the Zardari clan, back in 2021, and he lost all the bye elections but when he became the underdog…”
“Before you say anything, wait till the final results are tabulated – in this country, you never know if victory is snatched from the jowls of defeat.”
“Hmmmm, but the delay in the final results is raising suspicions but hey Tolkein of the Hobbit books said it well: do you wish me a good morning or mean it is a good morning whether I want it or not, or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?”
“You have a suspicious nature. The writer Alexandre Dumas said it better: pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together - at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit. So my friend there is pure love in the Sharif household, blood relatives, relatives by marriage, samdhis, you name it, and there is no suspicion as to why the election was lost in spite of huge jalsas, the fault is that they were not delivered what they were promised and…”
“Right, so the samdhi’s flawed policies, the refusal to discuss the source of their wealth and harping on being tortured and…”
“You have to look the part – and sadly, the Sharifs look too prosperous and don’t look like victims.”
“Right.”
Copyright Business Recorder, 2024
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