PARTLY FACETIOUS: Our stakeholders do not have a history of poisoning the unseated…

“Seriously, do you really think that The Third Wife’s allegations of slow poisoning is a political ploy by The Man Who Must Remain Nameless?”

“Not really. Look at the sequence of statements. The audio tape of the Third Wife and The Lawyer…”

“Unlawfully released!”

“OK but neither of the two conversing denied that it was not them, anyway my point is that The Third Wife is the one who came up with the concept of slow poisoning – I mean no other Pakistani incarcerated political leader, incarcerated after the fall of his or her government, complained about poisoning and that too slow poisoning.”

“Right, but you know with the change of the guard, and by guard I am referring to key stakeholders, the modus operandi could technically change.”

“It could technically I guess but not likely. The Third Wife, in the audio, refers to the sisters of the Man Who Must Remain Nameless taking strong exception to the allegation of poisoning, with the Third Wife saying that she told the sisters not to interfere…”

“Yeah but that doesn’t prove it isn’t a political…”

“Wait, let me finish, I mean apart from the fact that our stakeholders do not have a history of poisoning the unseated…”

“Capital Development Authority used to poison stray dogs, but a court granted a stay order on this inhumane practice which is why the stray dog population in this city has multiplied with stray dogs even running around on the street which houses our national assembly, and the Prime Minister’s House and…”

“Anyway the opposition in jail has complained of cameras in toilets while in jail, Notification Maryam Nawaz was also filmed while…”

“Yep, and need I add The Third Wife has mentioned that too repeatedly.”

“But the reason why I think it is not political is that I don’t see why anyone opposed to the Man Who Must Remain Nameless would seek to poison The Third Wife because, minus her, his popularity at least amongst the swing voters will almost certainly rise, and perhaps it may also rise amongst his supporters who see her influence in his decision the opposite of benign…”

“Opposite of benign! Really?”

“Gotta be careful of what one says about these spiritual guides, though the power to guide may have been slightly compromised…”

“So not political, then what?”

“An attempt to remain relevant and in the news by The Third Wife.”

“But as a housewife…”

“When Nawaz Sharif was in jail his wife played a very constructive role in spiriting him away to Saudi Arabia, Zardari sahib was left a legacy of…”

“Hmmm, The Third Wife’s status is markedly different.”

“Change as The Man Who Must Remain Nameless once said change is not about to come but has come…why are you laughing?”

“He said that when he announced his second marriage.”

“A statement that is not time-barred, my friend.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024