PARTLY FACETIOUS: There is a reason why they say Zardari weighs more than all others

“So there is no room for complacency, right?”

“Right, the Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless…”

“The Third Wife’s entry into the politics of resistance has splintered the party…”

“Wow, so different from what we hear on the airwaves, you reckon she is engaged not in politics but in the politics of resistance!”

“Yes, leaders are forged in….in like a steel mill’s furnace – a furnace that epitomizes the degree of resistance – the hotter the furnace the more…”

“Right, but you do know that our steel mills have been non-operational since 2015?”

“Yes I do, but I am not sure, you know that all governments since 2015 have been releasing our tax rupees to pay salaries of the employees of the mills.”

“And that has been the policy of the two bitter rivals – the PML-N and the PTI.”

“And you know, the irony is that most of the employees of the non-functional steel mills are Pakistan Peoples’ Party loyalists and…”

“Right on, there is a reason why they say Zardari sahib weighs more than all others.”

“I assume that is figuratively speaking because I don’t know of a single member of the Nawaz Sharif clan who weighs less than Zardari sahib.”

“Notification Maryam Nawaz (NMN)…”

“Is more of an eye candy than Zardari sahib, but the buck stops there.”

“The buck being the needle on the weighing scale?”

“Speaking of a weighing scale, I know for a fact that NMN has disbursed 50 billion rupees to artificial intelligence researchers to produce a weighing scale that would show the weight that is in synch with the desire of the one who gets on…”

“You being facetious?”

“No, I wish NMN success – I have around three weighing scales in my house and not a single one gives me the weight that I know in my heart of hearts…”

“Gotcha, but NMN gave this money that was collected from the Punjab taxpayers?”

“Nope.”

“She paid for it from her…her accounts or the salary she receives as the chief minister or…”

“Well one thing is for sure: she didn’t receive funds from the retired Captain Safdar, anyway the money was not from her personal account but from the province’s share of the indivisible pool…”

“It’s divisible pool, not indivisible pool.”

“Not once it is credited to the Punjab treasury.”

“You are bad!”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2024