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“The Opposition government talks…” “Stop right there. Let me correct you on two counts. First the opposition is limited to the party of The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless and no other.”

“You deal with the one most likely to be troublesome and with the bill on seminaries (madressah’s) signed into law The Maulana is no longer…”

“Troublesome?”

“Right though for the life of me I can’t understand why they don’t hold talks directly with The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless instead of through a committee which must then seek his approval…”

“Agreed, especially as his appointments calendar is kinda out of his hands.”

“Hmmmm, but you know the PTI team has refused to give their demands in writing in spite of the government demand…..”

“Stop, the two Gs in the PML-N team want a hard copy, they are not into soft copy.”

“Two G’s?”

“Geriatrics - Greedy for Portfolios Samdhi, remember he handwrote the 42-page affidavit rather than request a laptop and Irfan Sidddiqui, who is an honourable man…..”

“As was Brutus, anyway my second point is where is The Brown Pope?”

“Excuse me?”

“The Brown Pope or His Containership is not part of the government team and I smell a big huge rat.”

“Maybe the realization that he is not a good negotiator has dawned on….”

“Granted that he visibly failed in all negotiations with politicians, and this in spite of a five-ton backpack full of ammunition…”

“Shut up – if there was any discontent, it hasn’t translated into taking away even one out of the two hats he has been gifted.”

“OK, but there is speculation he is dealing with The Third Wife, reportedly on the instructions of the Man Who Must Remain…”

“Right, but reports indicate that The Third Wife is injecting her own agenda item into the talks, an example being she has informed The Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless that the Brown Pope has requested that The Sister be stopped from talking to the media…”

“Who said spiritual guides are not tempted! And don’t forget, reports indicate that the current army chief lost his job as the ISI Chief because of the Third Wife and her large first family and friends and….”

“And so the plot thickens – and you don’t forget there are always at least three plans - Plan A, Plan B and Plan C.”

“Ah indeed.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2025

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