Is it for real? Is it fiction? Is it a dream? Is it an illusion? Is it happening? These are some of the shake-your-head queries that one asks oneself. We love seeing stories.
Sometimes on TV, sometimes in Cinema and mostly on 0TT platforms like Netflix, etc. They fascinate us but we really do not believe in all of them.
We look at it as more of stories that entertain us by using creative license. No matter how exaggerated the screen stories may look they are inspired by real life.
Even super hero movies and cartoons build their fantasy narrative on human wishes. In fact, the more they relate to our lives and our aspired lives the more they become popular. Some of them may sound and look far-fetched, but you will find somebody relating to something in them.
Every life is a serial going on in reality. Everybody has a story that has something unique. The interesting part is that the story that is happening in our lives seems as it is only happening to us. The fact of the matter is that everybody else is also going through some unique experience that has its own weave and pattern.
Many times you will see two people going through almost identical happenings but having completely different endings.
Why is it so? Why do people with same issues, environment, and upbringing end up with diametrically opposite consequences? The answer is that everybody’s narrative about their own situation is biased by their own approach. There is so much written about the stories we see around us that we are ever ready to question and challenge them.
There is very little written about the story we form about ourselves. One of the main reasons is that we do not doubt our story and do not indulge in introspection.
Even if we do we will have a string of excuses about all that did not go well. That is why the power of the personal narrative to shape our lives is huge. Let us look at why we need to understand its power and use it our advantage:
1- The mind follows a narrative— The mind is like computer processor. The words you put in it are the words it is obedient to. Personal narratives are powerful. They are developed through a mixture of experiences & personality. They create the lens through which we see the world. Our personal narratives tell us what we can and cannot do. They tell us how we expect to be treated.
Thousands of every thought and emotion you experience, triggers your brain to send suitable chemical messages to every corner of your body, signaling it to tighten your muscles when you’re angry or boost your lung capacity when you are laughing with joy.
The fact that no two brains are alike is a fact that supports the statement that it is the meaning we put to our experiences and then create a story around it that sticks to our brain. This paradigm is guiding and controlling our behaviour.
Human beings are always in search of meaning of their existence. In that search they weave stories. We weave narratives around the events of our lives. These narratives shape who we are and who we become. The words we choose, the meanings we give are messages going to our brains.
There are plenty of researches that substantiate the fact that the brain is a repetitive attention economy. Whatever is said more and focused on will be acted upon. Thus the need to understand what our inner conversations are conveying.
2- The self-talk determines our responses— We may tell ourselves “I am the sort of person who …” or “I am not made for this”. The repeated telling of stories satisfies our human need to make meaning and helps to form structures in the mind and the brain. Some of these structures may serve us well while others may hinder us in living a fuller and happier life. That is why just it is necessary to become a self-talk editor.
We may form pre-conceived notion about a person, a task or a relationship. We will constantly be telling ourself how bad or good that person is and; then use what is known in psychology selective perception, selective distortion to create a story that justifies that self-conversation. Life is not a linear equation where you simply go collected facts stringed together.
Life is a live experience of the events that happened in your life, and the meaning you gave to them. For example, when you make a stupid mistake in front of your friends, you could either laugh about it and recount other foolish things you have all done, or feel so ashamed that the voice in your head starts whispering, ‘see, you always mess up, everyone thinks you’re dumb’.
3- Changing our self-narrative is changing our lives— The bad news is that we do not accept that we are the authors of our own story. The good news is that we have the power to rewrite and change our story. Even the best of champions in sports say that skill and hard work are mandatory but the script being written by you in your mind is the real game changer. They call it manifestation. Manifestation involves visualising life goals and acting as if they are already achieved.
For athletes, this means imagining scoring in a final in the 90th minute or executing a perfect assist. What bigger example of the use of this than two sporting legends Christian Ronaldo in football and Djokovic in tennis.
In several interviews and press conferences, Ronaldo has often credited positive self-talk as part of his game-day routine. You can see his lips moving in tough moments of a match which he claims is his talk to himself to script the brain to have no self-doubt on achieving the win. Djokovic is a great example of self-narrative.
Before matches, Djokovic engages in a routine of mental visualisation. He imagines the match unfolding in his favour, rehearsing scenarios where he triumphs in difficult points or recovers from challenging situations. This mental rehearsal helps him maintain confidence, even when facing top competitors.
The mind is the driving machine, the processor, the messenger, the interpreter. The outcome of any action we take depends heavily on our scriptwriting and rehearsing the dialogue that we want to hear. As they say we are big self-liars. We tend to blame outside factors to justify all our non-achievements.
As this New Year begins, start re-writing your script and replay it over and over again where it becomes hardwired in the brain. Follow it up some focused hard work and you will see how the new life narrative will create new avenues of leading a meaningful and empowered life.
Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
The writer is a columnist, consultant, coach, and an analyst and can be reached at [email protected]
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