Partly Facetious: Where is Rehman Malik?

"Adam Thomson, the UK High Commissioner has said..."
"Yes and so has Altaf bhai."
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing and don't forget Thomson said as point three that Altaf bhai had retracted his statement."
"But it was delivered on television."
"Indeed, and I want to know where is Rehman Malik?"
"Good heavens, what made you think of him? Not the retraction bit?"
"I miss him, he provided comic relief and I just want to know where he is."
"He is preparing documents to take the Sharif brothers to court?"
"Ha ha ha."
"Why are you laughing, I was serious."
"A man who headed the Interior Ministry that could have gathered the proof against the Sharifs and then taken it to the prosecution branch of government that was also under the PPP government for five whole years never took action then and will now?"
"See that's why I want to know where Malik is these days...as I said he provides comic relief and let's be honest with all the dharnas and challenges to the election results we all could do with some Rehman Malik style comic relief more than ever."
"What will you do for the next five years? Malik will either be hiding in one of the Bilawal Houses around the country or he would be in the Subway?"
"He has enough to live in a five star hotel in the UK for years for Pete's sake and hire limousines so why would he take the subway?"
"Subway is a sandwich store in London which he owns."
"Why didn't he open a naan kebab shop?"
"Do you even remember Rehman Malik?"
"Purplish or reddish tinged hair, depending on the availability of the hair colour, Western-style suits..."
"Precisely, a man who prefers Western clothes is not going to go and eat naan kebab, a Pakistan fast food, a sandwich has so much more style."
"But sandwiches are not high class food in the West?"
"You tell Malik that!"
"I will when he resurfaces."