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Print Print 2014-07-22

Partly Facetious: Nawaz is a religious man

"The tiger has left the country for ten days."
Published July 22, 2014

"The tiger has left the country for ten days."
"He is a religious man and he says he is going to pray for Pakistan..."
"Then why doesn't he take over the religious affairs ministry rather than the prime minister's slot."
"Be fair, I mean this country was created on the basis of religion..."
"Hey, I can pray and so can 18 crore Pakistanis for giving us a little more wealth so that we can go and do umra or Hajj, but I want my prime minister to work for the last ten days of this holy month so that between his work and my prayers we can see some light at the end of this rather dark tunnel that we are stuck in for the past decade."
"Well, from where Mian sahib is he reckons things have improved mightily and his commanders have delivered....see the Asian Development Bank's Asian Development Outlook gave the growth rate of 4.1 percent - a rate that has been very credibly challenged by the International Monetary Fund and our local economists agree - then there..."
"I think the ADB is challenged, perhaps as challenged as Ishaq Dar, to cite the latter's flawed data as the real as opposed to a desirable growth rate."
"Right, rather sad, I mean I can understand our wizard's data manipulation but surely the ADB's blind acceptance appears to be rather suspect. Anyway Nawaz Sharif reckons that the economy is doing alright and the ongoing operation zarb-e-azb is also going well though somehow that requires prayers and that is precisely what a press release stated that he would pray for and..."
"And what about prayers for himself and his family?"
"Well, that too I would imagine - I mean in spite of the prime minister taking advantage of numerous photo opportunities with General Raheel Sharif the general perception is that all is not well between the civilian and the military leadership. And what about loadshedding - the rains have stopped and the demand is sky high and..."
"But he has lectured and expressed anger and given directions to those responsible for the load shedding and so he is not needed in the country."
"And his wish is their command right?"
"Well, yes his littlest wish is their command though its implementation may require some innovative data juggling and..."
"But I guess when he expresses a desire for nehari they ensure the tastiest..."
"He does like food doesn't he but you know he eats healthy - hasn't lost an ounce since the Ramazan."
"Tigers don't lose weight, it's us jackals who do."
"That is true."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2014

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