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"Mission Accomplished!"
"Before you tell me what mission was accomplished, I would like to warn you that this particular slogan has been abandoned by all because former US President Bush had it put up prematurely to say the least."
"Well, in the context of our government the mission has been accomplished."
"If you are referring to Pakistan China agreements of 46 billion dollars recently signed let me remind you that on 5 July 2013 Chinese Premier Li Keqiang visited Pakistan and approved Pakistan-China Economic Corridor linking Gwadar and Kashghar - an 18 billion dollar project but in 2013-14 Chinese investment was less than one billion dollars - an amount that has not risen in the second year of the Sharif administration."
"The pace of investment may be slow but I trust the Chinese commitment would eventually translate into investment in our extremely deficient social and physical infrastructure sectors. But that is not what I was referring to..."
"The Sharifs do count their chickens before they are hatched, need I remind you of the claims with respect to the Chiniot natural resources? But if you meant the state of the economy with our reserves rising to 17 billion dollars, let me remind you that the International Monetary Fund in its sixth review noted that adjustments were made to the end-March performance criteria on Net International Reserves and Net Domestic Assets were proposed to reflect higher reserves accumulation by the State Bank."
"And who would understand what the IMF wrote?"
"So the government can go on strutting about its flawed claims?"
"Indeed, and that mission has been accomplished but that again is not what I was referring to when I said the mission was accomplished."
"I give up? You tell me."
"Well, the cricket team could not have performed worse and once you hit rock bottom then there is no other way but up and so you must thank Mian sahib and his appointment of the man who shall remain nameless in the Board; and perhaps as that man has accomplished this mission the government can use his services in other fields..."
"Where? The hockey team is in the doldrums, the economy is being run by Dar who thank you very much is irreplaceable, the media is being run by the First Daughter, the energy sector by the Sharifs and the LNG sector by a close associate so really there is no other sector that needs the services of the man who shall remain nameless."
"What about railways? That seems to be doing OK we need him there no?"
"Nope, that's run by a family member. But look at the glass as half full: the nameless gentleman is scheduled to become the chair of the ICC and once the ICC hits rock bottom we would have been avenged."
"You are being facetious."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2015

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