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"I have decided to join politics."
"Which party?"
"Haven't decided yet."
"I see, you don't seem to be driven by any party's ideology."
"Oh yes, I am for example I will not join the Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) ever."
"Why ever not? The Khan is the only leader of a national party who is not tainted by corruption, he is running two good hospitals and has hired professional hospital management which is ensuring the sustainability of the institutions and you and I know that our national institutions require to be strengthened through good governance and a professional management team and..."
"No I won't joint PTI."
"You want to make money? But let me tell you that you can't get lucrative contracts or shall we say be allowed to skim off the surface simply by joining a party. Our political parties are hierarchical you know, so those ahead of the queue will have more opportunities..."
"You being facetious?"
"No, I am being truthful. Besides to get a party ticket from the status quo parties you need to belong to a baradari to get the baradari votes, you need to be able to put some serious cash into the party's coffers if not the leaders offshore accounts and you may need a courier to get the money out..."
"I heard super models have increased their cut..."
"Don't be facetious - Ayyan Ali is being used for political..."
"Excuse me, but she was caught red handed with half a million dollars - this is a crime in most countries including the US where you cannot carry in more than 10000 dollars, and your state prosecutors are so incompetent that...oh I see, is that why you want to join politics? To get a good job irrespective of your qualifications?"
"No I won't mind joining the PML-N or the MQM or the PPP because their party chiefs are out of the country and routinely summon their loyalists for meetings and I have always wanted to travel abroad but never had the cash."
"Mian sahib never used to, these are exceptional circumstance, one off..."
"But Fatemi and one other person get to travel to London at the tax payers' expense."
"For life of me I don't understand what the three would talk of because the foreign policy is not really his forte or his domain is it."
"Don't be facetious."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2016

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