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Print Print 2016-08-16

Partly Facetious: The past is the past

"Mian sahib spent a busy weekend inaugurating development projects!"
Published August 16, 2016

"Mian sahib spent a busy weekend inaugurating development projects!"
"Indeed and need I add that this is a slap in the face of all anti-Mian sahib movements...."
"How come?"
"Mian sahib never tires of saying that politics must be about delivery on the ground, and inaugurations fuel expectations of delivery and..."
"But what did Mian sahib do when the Zardari tribe was in power in the centre?"
"The past is the past my friend and I would urge you to think of the future, Pakistan is at a crossroad, and the only one who can steer us to the right is Mian sahib and..."
"How do we know the right is the right path?"
"Hey, the country is at a developmental take off stage because of Mian sahib and the trusted accountant... oops, sorry..."
"I have been hearing that we are at a developmental take off stage for the past four decades."
"This time it is really happening!"
"And you know that how? Because our external indebtedness has tripled, exports are nose diving - each month is worse than the one before - and remittances have not only flat lined but are declining so how in the world do you expect to return the loans that Mian sahib's trusted finance minister is busy contracting..."
"You are just jealous. Mian sahib really trusts Dar and..."
"I agree and Mian sahib doesn't even inspect anything without Dar."
"Hey, toilets in PIA cannot be used after the first 15 minutes of a flight so any attempt to improve the airline service requires clean toilets and if toilets are clean then let me tell you that foreign direct investment would flow into the country..."
"What do toilets have to do with foreign direct investment?"
"Every foreign tour, every statement of the finance minister, every policy decision, every loan that he borrows from foreign commercial banks, every bond that he issues at a rate above the market rate lures foreign investment into the country and..."
"But our foreign direct investment is appallingly low and our business climate is bad and our..."
"The glass maybe half full but it has the most expensive liquid in it."
"What is that? Has to be alcohol which is banned..."
"You Pakistanis are all alike - so easy to deflect."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2016

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