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Print Print 2017-04-22

PARTLY FACETIOUS: If the accountant turns approver?

"Did you hear the one about the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?"
Published April 22, 2017

"Did you hear the one about the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?"
"I don't get you, the entire country is talking about the Panama verdict and the only party, namely the Zardari-led PPP, that was not a party to the case has rejected the verdict and..."
"OK, but what is the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?"
"The terms of reference of an accountant, or an auditor, is to minimise the tax payable through tax loopholes, and the job is made easier in our country because several regulatory orders refer to a stipulated measure as one that could be used to avoid taxes which is not yet a criminal offense in our country thank the Good Lord..."
"But if the accountant turns approver?"
"If you are talking of an individual then let me tell you that you may be liable for defamation and..."
"Did I take any names? In any event, I was referring to many a mafia don's accountant in the US who turned approver to get immunity for himself and was the downfall of his godfather and..."
"Right, the five judges in the Panama case did refer to a quote from the famous French novelist Balzac who wrote that behind every great fortune is a crime."
"Right, but anyway you make me digress as usual. I asked what is the difference between an accountant or any other profession and a lawyer?"
"I give up."
"A lawyer exploits you even after you are dead - who gets your estate if the children are not the beneficiaries - and that explains why the lawyers of the protagonists of the Panama case are rejoicing and urging their clients to also rejoice..."
"Speaking of lawyers, I want to tell you a joke. An old man on his death bed wanted to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside: Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me. At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed: I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. The doctor said since we're confiding in each other I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000. The lawyer was aghast. I'm ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
"And could you please give the PhD degree back to Zardari sahib: his party boasts of well known lawyers who render services to him free of charge, Mian sahib's consist of real estate magnates and the Khan..."
"He is celebrating, let him be at peace for awhile."

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