Partly Facetious: The real heir comes under the spotlight

"Would the real heir step forward please!"
"I don't get you."
"Our inheritance laws do identify who gets what? Or who the real heir is, right?"
"Right?"
"So who is the real heir?"
"Well, our laws dictate that the real heir is not the brother especially when the person in question has children and the daughter's share is not quite that of a son..."
"Don't state laws, what I simply want to know is who Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif's real heir is?"
"I heard, and this is hearsay..."
"As much of a hearsay, as the Qatari letter as per the Joint Investigation Report which to my mind does not base its conclusions on affidavits, ha ha ha, but on written statements by the UAE agencies and..."
"Don't be facetious... anyway I heard that Mian sahib reckons that his eldest daughter is the brightest of his brood and so she is his real heir, the beneficial owner, who would ensure that neither of her brothers want for anything ever and..."
"I don't care how they distribute wealth internally all I want to know is who is Mian sahib's political heir."
"Oh I see, well, Mian sahib does not trust anyone but a family member..."
"Blood relative only or even relative by marriage?"
"You know I am not sure a chartered accountant can make billions, I mean I know lawyers who do and are much in demand, but I never heard of a chartered accountant or auditor making millions though of course an international accountancy or audit company can make millions."
"Dar sahib says he did accountancy from England and..."
"I want to know which company he was chartered with, a two man company or a thousand plus manned company, and I want to know how much the Emiratis were paying him after he turned approver and left the country..."
"So in the event that Mian sahib has to resign and..."
"I guess if he resigns before the next elections are called, Dar is unlikely to be acceptable; but the Petroleum chappie who made the 15-year deal with Qatar to purchase LNG and I am not sure who awarded the deal to the Qatari prince who has not quite delivered and the deal needs to be cancelled on that basis and..."
"So who then?"
"I like Chaudhry Nisar, he remained clean throughout this..."
"The Nawalas don't like him?"
"Do the Shahbazwalas?"
"Hee hee hee."