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"In the event that Nawaz Sharif's party does not win the next elections may I propose some administrative changes?"
"That's pre-poll rigging."
"I hold no office and I want to suggest an administrative change and that too after the elections..."
"Excuse me but announcing who you want changed before elections is pre-poll rigging while its impact may also constitute some post poll rigging."
"It's someone who is not really relevant to elections and..."
"Was he or she appointed by our three time prime minister Nawaz Sharif?"
"Yes but..."
"Then there is no but my friend."
"Well given the numbers who shift loyalties even before power dynamics shifts..."
"It doesn't matter, nothing is apolitical these days. Nawaz Sharif asks to be shifted to A class category in jail and that's political. His daughter says she is happy with her B class category that is political, she says she wants to teach her fellow convicts on how to read and write that is political though she is not really qualified for that job either......."
"Stop; how dare you use the word either!"
"Sorry but please may I recommend one, only one, administrative change please?"
"As long as you admit you are being partisan!"
"So be it, can I say it now?"
"And as long as you commit to democratic norms and principles and..."
"Oh for Pete's sake, can I make that suggestion?"
"And as long as...."
"Oh stop, this is too much."
"OK proceed."
"I would suggest that the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless be made the head of Pakistan Zimbabwe peace mission and..."
"There is no need for peace between our countries - the only arena where we contest is in cricket and the Man Who Shall Remain Nameless has made Zimbabwe a country known to all Pakistanis, though many would be hard pressed to point out where it is located..."
"Khan, eat your heart out! The Man Who Shall Remain Nameless has brought about true change! He has put Zimbabwe on our map...."
"Wasn't his objective to put Pakistan on the map?"
"One objective at a time my friend..."
"Don't be facetious."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2018

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