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Print Print 2019-09-18

Partly Facetious: The First Nephew

"I reckon it's harder to be number two than to be number one."
Published September 18, 2019

"I reckon it's harder to be number two than to be number one."
"Tell that to Ishaq Dar!"
"What do you mean?"
"He was really number two, but thought he was number one. I mean whatever he wanted the number one agreed to, whether it was in terms of the economy or politics..."
"Right, and number one never ever challenged Dar even though he gave some appalling advice. Remember it was Dar who sabotaged taking the Panama issue to parliament, even though that could have been easily managed by the party..."
"Agreed, but Dar even performed poorly as an accountant and need I add, he was qualified for that job, look how transparently he relocated money from Pakistan to London...I mean it was so easy to unearth and..."
"That's transparency for you my friend besides don't forget he gave a 40 page affidavit as to how and when and where..."
"Don't be facetious. Anyway Dar is an exception, a number two who believes he is really number one in decision making and all he needs is to gently massage number one's ego..."
"Precisely! And that is what other number twos in the PML-N never learned."
"I thought there is only one number two."
"In the PML-N there are many, many number twos, you have the First Brother, you have the First Daughter, The First Nephew, and these firsts are just family, then you had Chaudhry Nisar who went from two to zero in one go, Khawaja Asif and Shahid Khaqan Abbasi who reckon they are number two..."
"I wanted to talk about the First Brother. My question is why doesn't he want to take over as number one? I bet you anything if Nawaz Sharif was number two he would have unseated Shahbaz Sharif by now and need I add the First Daughter is more like daddy in this regard then we all thought and..."
"The vote bank is elder brother's!"
"Which is the only province in which Nawaz Sharif's party won the maximum seats in 2018?"
"In Punjab but..."
"There is no but, besides a number two has to show some gumption..."
"You reckon Shahbaz Sharif should go to the polls as number one at least once just to see whether the political pundits are right?"
"Yes."
"You are so bad; if he fails then his life won't be worth the...the..."
"And if he wins?"
"Hmmm."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2019

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