Partly Facetious : Sugarcane water intensive crop

"I know how to deal with the sugar crisis."

"It has nothing to do with Jehangir Tareen..."

"That's not where I was going - I want to make a non-partisan suggestion to the government."

"Oh that's a healthy approach for we the people are suffering...wait you aren't going to suggest that people stop taking processed sugar, it's not very healthy, and there are many doctors who suggest laying off sugar to deal with aches and pains and..."

"Nope, that ain't it."

"Stopping government intervention in sugarcane price that would make growing cane , which is water intensive crop and let's not forget we are a water-stressed country, less attractive than growing cotton and..."

"Nope, I am not one for interfering in farmers' decisions."

"That's a stupid thing to say, input pricing does play a role..."

"OK, but that's not how to deal with the sugar crisis once and for all."

"How about getting the Competition Commission of Pakistan to undertake a study and..."

"Hmmm, the Chairman of CCP is on a stray order and need I add, a stray order is like giving the acting charge to someone, the leverage is considerable and..."

"Stray or stay order?"

"A stay order in some instances allows for straying if you know what I mean."

"OK I give up, what's your strategy?"

"I suggest that the government sets a target for lending at zero interest rate, with the possibility of write offs in case of failures, to all sugar mill owners across party lines, for setting up flour mills or textile mills..."

"And how would that help bring sugar prices down?"

"The mill owners must provide a sovereign guarantee that they would shut down their sugar mills and..."

"Sovereign guarantee is given by the government not private sector mill owners."

"Yes, but another reality-check my friend: those who give a sovereign guarantee, and have been giving for decades, are the same mill owners..."

"You are being facetious."